Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Thursday Night Results Show

Ryan starts the show telling us as the drama unfolds ‘anything’ can happen. Uh oh, sounds like someone unexpected may be going home tonight. Ryan tells the contestants that 12 of the lucky ones will be moving over to the 12 empty seats on the side of the stage. The seats look about as comfortable as those chairs they used for the OJ jurors. Seriously, this show makes Fox hundreds of millions of dollars, couldn’t they get the kids some recliners? 46 million people voted this week, further proof that freedom is on the march. Bo ‘the skeleton” Bice returns to the show and looks way too skinny. He is obviously not back to full health after suffering from a bunch of medical problems. Whatever it is he dealt with maybe the doctors could induce the same thing in Ruben. Once the big teddy bear drops a few hundred pounds he’ll be able to stand on stage and finish an entire song. Bo sounds only ok on the song, he can’t quite hit the higher notes, but he delivers the performance with the rock flare you’d expect from Bo and the overall entertainment value is pretty high. I doubt Bo wrote the song, it feels like a Bon Jovi poppy kinda rock song. It comforting to know that even with war in the Sudan and politicians taking bribes, that Bo still holds the entire mic stand while he performs – some things never change.

Ryan starts the elimination with the girls – the lowest vote getter (even Kinnick knows its gonna be her) is going home. He beings at the far left of the back row. Lisa and Melissa are safe. Lisa barely showed any emotion, she knew she didn’t get the lowest vote totally, but Melissa is ‘wipe the sweat from your brow’ happy. Rounding out the top row are Ayla and Kinnick. Kellie, Kat, Mandisa, and Paris are in the front row, and even Vince Young knows they ain’t going home tonight. When Ryan tells Ayla that she is safe you can instantly see that Kinnick knows she is done; she barely shows any emotion when Ryan confirms what we already know. She makes a little statement thanking everyone and then the judges give her advice. Randy tells her that when she performs it “needs to be the bomb every time.” Wow Randy. So what you are saying is don’t suck. Brilliant advice. Kinnick performs her song again and sounds much better than the first time, continuing the trend of eliminated contestants giving their best performance of the season AFTER they are sent packing. When she finishes her song no other contestants come out on stage to hug her and the show heads to commercial.

Its time for a man to go home - or maybe Kevin. Ryan says to Gedeon that he is grinning extra wide tonight, and Gedeon it typical kinda creepy style replies “God bless everybody.” The two likely ones to go home tonight are Kevin and Bucky, and they are in the back row, which means they look doomed. Ryan tells Kevin he is safe, here we go, its maybe upset time. Gedeon is safe, and then Bucky is safe. Ok this could get bad. Elliot, who is a very talented vocalist might be going home tonight, is it possible, could America have taken him for granted. He is the next one in the row, in the same spot Ryan eliminated Kinnick. Elliot…you are safe. Whew that was scary. Will, who has Taylor, Ace, and Chris sitting on the opposite side of him is next, which means he is bye-bye, and he knows. I did not want Will to go home tonight, but quickly reconsider my judgment when I see the horrible outfit he is wearing. His shirt is an odd collection of floral arraignments – Kramer wouldn’t even touch this shirt. Paula offers this brilliant advice to Will, “I’m proud of you.” Will performs one last time for the Idol audience and Summer is in the crowd supporting her man while Ryan beats up Simon for picking on his friend. Couple of interesting things happened while Will was performing. First, the entire studio audience was standing and dancing except two people who were sitting down with a pensive look on their face. This is the second week in a row people in the crowd have looked angry, is this our new way to torture suspected members of Al Quieda? Second, Kellie and Kat, the roommates, had synchronized choreography for the song; unfortunately the camera does not stay on them for long and soon returns to Seth. When Will finishes the song surely he’ll be left on the stage to feel horrible about his failure as they cut to commercial (like Kinnick), but no, Ryan says “show him some love guys” and the guys crowd around Will and shower him with hugs. What’s up with that? Kinnick got no love!

After another commercial break, Ryan begins the second female elimination of the night. Paris, Kat, Kellie, and Mandisa are all safe. One by one they move across the stage to claim their seat in the final twelve. They all have a little trouble getting down the stage steps, with Kat exclaiming “Oh Gosh” at the difficult prospect. Mandisa seemed to be carrying a purse. Is there food in there? Does she carry around a Twinkie at all times? I really wonder what was in that purse. The final three females are Ayla, Melissa, and Lisa. Lisa is safe and Melissa and Ayla have to wait through another Prison Break commercial until they learn their fate. Ayla…is going home - sad and a little surprising, but not shocking. However, it was shocking for her, she immediately loses her composure and starts to cry. Ayla seems like a very proud girl who probably doesn’t cry in public a lot, so we all feel her pain. It’s too bad the producers of the show turned her into the girl that everyone used to hate at school. Ryan turns into Dr. Phil and tries to cheer Ayla up. He reminds her how tall she is and how small he is and that his is really bald, it’s just a wig. Ok he didn’t say that, but I bet she would have smiled. Paula’s advice, “You are a winner.” If by winner she means you come in 14th place and go home months before the competition ends, then yeah sure, she’s a winner. Ayla sings her song one last time, holding back the emotions and gives another good performance. When she finishes at least the girls will be able to crowd around her and comfort her like the guys did with Will. Oh wait, sorry nope. Ryan tells her to leave the stage and she disappears off camera. Where did they send her? Did she have to stand somewhere by herself? Were they doing a urine check like at the Olympics?

With no commercial break Ryan goes right into the male elimination. Taylor, Ace, and Chris are all safe. Each one gives Ryan a man hug, which consist of a handshake that evolves into a pat on the back, just enough contact to show you like the person and are happy, but not quite European. Taylor dances across the stage and all three ignore the daunting steps that troubled the women and just jump to the floor. Kevin….is safe! Holy cow upset city maybe! He is so happy he runs right by Ryan and grabs his seat. I think he was worried if he didn’t get their quickly enough Ryan would change his mind and send him home. Elliot is next, and the camera cuts to the crowd to show the Brittenum twins. Huh? Aren’t they in jail? They did not stand, so maybe shackles were on their legs. Unlike the twins, Elliot is safe. I’m curious to see how he reacts; he is the only man to cry so far this season. He makes his way over to Ryan and starts with the man hug…that quickly evolves into the “I’m hugging my wife after I return from a tour of duty in Iraq hug.” How sweet. Only Gedeon and Bucky remain. Simon guesses that Gedeon will make the top twelve. But no, Bucky is safe and “God bless you” is going home. Perhaps not since the 2004 Presidential election did America get something so easy so wrong. Speaking of that, how many people out there who voted for bush because they bought the 'elect Kerry and you and your children will die' spiel now feel a little silly. Probably what Katie Holmes feels like now she is carrying around Tom Cruise’s child.

Why did Gedeon, who was one of the most polished performers and vocalists, go home so early? Simon answered that question on Wed night when he told him “You are quite odd aren’t you.” He was just a bit too different, not cute and cuddly like Kevin and not a good old boy like Bucky.
I love the old school sound, but if you think about what’s on the radio right now, no new artists are making this kind of music. Of course there is NOTHING that sounds like Kevin on the radio, well maybe some Christian stations, but there are so few good Christian artists the stations will play almost anything if you mention Jesus at least 5 times a minute. Bucky is decent enough and I understand how and why he made the top 12, he is the closet thing to a male country artist on the show and country is a large block of the voting public, so Bucky surviving beyond Gedeon is acceptable…but Kevin?

Ryan reveals the theme for next Tuesday. Its Stevie Wonder night. Thank god, finally we’ll get to hear some Stevie Wonder songs on American Idol. I wonder if Stevie will be there to help judge the contestants, if he is I hope he tells someone they look great tonight. The theme seems to benefit some contestants more than others. Kat and Elliot should excel. Taylor, Ace, Mandisa, and Paris should all be good. Melissa, Lisa and Chris can all find decent Stevie songs. However I wonder: can Lisa sing anything other than a power balled? Will Chris’s ‘I’m going to kill you’ intensity work? Can Melissa’s voice hit all the Stevie notes? The three contestants in the most trouble should be Bucky, Kevin, and Kellie. Kellie seems very strong tonight, so she can survive a weak night. Bucky and Kevin will struggle emulating the Wonder style and one of them will go home this week. Since Kevin is so darn cute, Bucky should be going home on Wednesday night.


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