Thursday, March 09, 2006

Top 8 Idol Nonwomen

Ryan tied his tie all the way tonight. Congrats Ryan you look your age!

Gedeon – When a Man Loves a Woman

Salvador starts off showing us he can paint. He painted a record spinning around the world that symbolizes the sound of music making the world go round. Ok then…he looks great tonight, as though this is his natural style, not some attempt to look cool. He sounds really good too; the performance isn’t a carbon copy of the original or the Michael Bolton version. He even took it up a notch at parts and hit some really impressive notes. I can’t find much wrong with him tonight. The judges are too harsh, if he did this same number after Kevin, Will, and Bucky, he would have received a standing ovation from Paula and Randy. Gedeon is not the easiest guy to like. He seems a little full of himself in the interviews. The judges do however love his old soul. Yet with the girls they feel like they are acting too old when they sing the older songs - a little sexism maybe? During the post song banter with Ryan we learn that Gedeon has lots of women in his life and he knows “how to love a woman.” Gedeon tries to return us to the family hour by saying he meant his mother and grandmother! Why is it this season every time Ryan talks to the contestants things gets a little creepy.

When they come back from commercial Ryan walks in front of the men and they are all placing bunny ears behind Ryan’s head. He spins around and exclaims, “I felt something strange going on behind me.” Creepy Ryan moment number two.

Chris – Broken

We learn that Chris didn’t shave his head to be cool, rather, it’s just baldness. I’ve always wondered if Michael Jordan was going bald and that’s why he shaved his head. Can we get the CIA on this? Chris sounds good again this week on his “ballad” but it’s his weakest effort this season. For the first time he had some pitch problems. His performance style – stand still and sing with so much intensity your neck looks like its gonna pop is getting old. Please please please have disco night this year, I wanna hear Chris attempt that, hopefully he won’t cop out like Bo. Paula, although not drunk tonight tells Chris he will be selling out stadiums - maybe he should sell out a bar first. She also says she can hear him on the radio already? Uh oh she is hearing and seeing things again. I bet a night in her life is similar to the M. Night Shyamalan commercial, no wonder she runs into people on the freeway. Even though Chris had a sub par performance tonight, he is guaranteed a spot in the top 12.

K-Dawg - Vincent

Kevin likes Kayne West. Once Kevin leaves Idol I hope he records a best of Kayne West album. I would buy that. How many Lost fans thought “where the heck is Walt anyway” when Ryan said Vincent. Kevin picked the wrong song tonight. He sounds his best when he uses his upper register, yet this song almost exclusively avoids that. The poor kid, for someone his age he is really good, but compared to the veterans on the show his lack of experience stands out. When he sings he blinks his eyes so much its like he is standing in hurricane force winds. Randy says he is eternally in the dawg pound, does that mean Kevin will be put to sleep if no one claims him in the next two weeks? I’m sure this song will bring down the house as the encore in Kevin’s national tour of America’s assisted living facilities, but it fell flat tonight. After almost going home last week Kevin needed a homerun tonight. Instead he hit a pop fly to the pitcher.

Ryan sits down with Taylor, he did that with Kat last night, maybe the producers are doing their best to make sure those two get into the top 12. Ryan gets cute with a Christopher Cross sailing joke, which I think went right over Taylor’s head. Taylor says he is trying to pack a weeks worth of energy into 5 minutes every week, which explains why he looks like a nuclear reaction most nights.

Bucky – Wave on Wave

He has a twin! I can honestly say at no point have I thought, gosh, I wish there was another Bucky out there. Kellie yes, Bucky no. Bucky is just not a great singer. His voice is average and he does not have the “Ace” factor. When Bucky uses his gravel voice it sounds too forced, like he is trying to over sing the song. Simon called his performance adequate, and the crowd voiced no displeasure. The voters at home will probably think the same thing and send Bucky back to his twin this week. Ryan brought Rocky (the twin) on stage, why couldn’t they do that with Becky’s sister? Would that have been too much to ask?

Will – How Sweet it is to be loved by you

Will panders to the 11-year-old Japanese vote, which was actually pretty funny. If this was the NBA all star game and you could vote online Japan would surely vote Will into the top 12. When Will performs I feel like I’m watching an Osmond family picnic. He really does have a pleasant sounding voice; I would have preferred he pick a song that shows off what he can do, something in between this and Lady. On his big notes he sounds good and gives a slightly better than average performance. Will has the most untapped potential of any of the remaining men. He is average largely because he doesn’t have his own style yet, which is not surprising since he is only 17 years old. Although the ratings belie my contention, the show was better before they let the old people try out. Do we really want to see a 30 year old competing with a 17 year old? Its like the old soviet hockey team against a bunch of college kids. Actually if Kevin wins Idol this year I’ll scream ‘I do believe in miracles’ at my television. Will needed an outstanding effort tonight to ensure he makes the top 12, he didn’t. However, he had more votes than Kevin last week and didn’t do anything this week that should lose him votes, and he is at least as good as last years Anthony Federov.

Taylor – Taking it to the streets

Taylor as a large bunny? For some reason, I’m not really surprised. With all his energy I could picture him as a mascot of some kind. Finally! Taylor is singing a song from a singer similar to him. No Elton or Commodores tonight! He has this hypnotic ‘wind the crank’ dance move. Gone are the excessive ‘whoos’ and ‘yeahs’ that marred his song last week, although he has an epileptic seizure near the end of the song. This is the best performance of the night. Its what live music is all about, give people something they can’t get from listening to you on a cd or the radio, help them feel the music. Paula said she will be using Taylor’s dance moves in her next job – which begs the question, what the heck is Paula’s next job? Did anyone notice when Ryan imitated Taylor’s dance moves and leaned back he grabbed his crotch? Creepy Ryan moment number 3 of the night.

Elliot – Heaven

Poor Elliot, he is deaf in one ear. The producers are playing up his sympathy card, I hope it’s not because he had a bad vote turnout last week and they want to make sure he makes the top 12. He really does have a nice voice and sings the song well. You could hear something similar to this on the radio right now. I’m glad he did a non Stevie type song this week, and I also appreciate the removal of his distracting facial hair. Elliot has a future on the adult contemporary charts once his Idol run is over. He is not the best singer on the show and he hasn’t had a ‘wow’ moment yet, but he always sounds great. He should be safe, but for some reason I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up in the bottom 3. There is a chance he could leave Idol this week.

Ace – Butterfly

Ace is a handy man. This is so fitting, all season long every time someone says Ace, I think about Ace “The Helpful Place” Hardware! Ty Pennington watch out, once you go Caruso and demand too much money ABC already has your replacement. Ace decides to do his impersonation of Sway tonight, except with long flowing hair wrapped in a beanie cap. Normally his attempts to seduce me through my television don’t bother me, but tonight it was too forced – he invoked the spirit of Constantine. Actually this felt like Ace’s audition for the Color Me Bad story coming soon to VH1. His vocals were not the best. His falsetto was pretty decent but his lower register didn’t do much. I’d really like to hear him belt out a ballad. Ace has performed three times and I still can’t peg what style of songs he should sing, apparently neither can he. The judges, for the most part liked Ace, but if Kevin went up there and sang the same vocals, I doubt they would have said such nice things. Paula says Ace was better than Michael Jackson - um no. Ace could have walked out on stage tonight and drop kicked a puppy onto the balcony and still sailed through to the top 12, he is safe.

Final Thoughts –

Overall a great show with lots of talent tonight, but just like Tuesday someone forgot to cut off Ryan’s mic and we heard him say something during the clip recap at the end of the show. Taylor was the best tonight, followed by some combination of Gedeon, Elliot, Ace and Chris. Taylor, Ace, and Chris are locks for the top 12. Based on talent, Gedeon and Elliot should join them. I think Will also joins them in the top 12. Bucky and Kevin had average nights, but I think they have a future as a buddy couple. Joey and Lance from Nysnc are coming out with a show on the WB soon, can we substitute Bucky and Kevin for them? Now that’s tivo worthy tv. Barring a Federline gets Brittany to marry him upset, Kevin and Bucky will be eliminated.


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