Red States and the Oscars

• The state of Kansas decided not to show the evil godless liberal love fest (Academy Awards) and instead showed a 4 hour block of Walker Texas Ranger.

• The religious right has grown a little desperate this Oscar season. How could the evil liberals not nominate the wonderful Jesus inspired film Chronicles of Narnia? See there is this lion in the movie that represents Jesus, except this is the a** kicking Jesus the Jews were expecting. If you cross this lion, you die, none of that turn the other mane stuff. Apparently the red states missed this apparent massive contradiction with the biblical Jesus's message of peace. The academy did not ignore chronicles just to upset middle America, even though that would be pretty funny. No, Narnia was an average movie at best, a bad movie when compared to the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Narnia is a story for children adapted to a movie, not something that usually earns a best picture nomination. Unless the story features a cross dressing hooker, then it stands a shot.

• First the academy nominated It's hard out here for a Pimp, now the rap group is going too far. In an attempt to market the song to Catholics, they are changing the word pimp to priest and the word hoes to altar boys!

• I love the thought of all the rural white people walking around on Monday morning completely oblivious they are humming the melody to It's hard out here for a pimp.