Friday, March 13, 2009

No Save For You!!!!!!

Tonight we should lose two contestants, discover the new judges all powerful rule change, and see Kanye and Kelly perform. I hope the producers don’t make the same mistake they did last season with Beatles week and order up another week of Michael Jackson’s songs. Ryan says the next hour will change the lives of these 13 people. The contestants are lined up ascending the staircase. Scott is on the bottom and looks like he is holding a folded up cane. Over 30 million votes were cast last night; a lot of teenage girls must have calloused fingers. Unlike last night when they walked through the massive stage doors, the judges are seated at their usual spots to start the show. Ryan reminds us about Tamyra Gray, Michael Johns, Jennifer Hudson, and Chris Daughtry and says there was uproar when they left the competition. When they show the clip of Daughtry’s elimination it’s pretty funny seeing the ‘are you f****** serious look on Chris’s face and the ‘what the ****’ look on Katherine Mcphee. In response to their early departure, Idol created a new rule this season called the ‘judges’ save.’ From this point forward until the Top 5 the judges can save one person from elimination. However the save must be unanimous and they can use it once and only once. If they implement the ‘save,’ then the person will be saved and the next week will have a double elimination. Simon says this decision does not reverse America’s vote, they are only giving a person another shot. Ryan uses the example of Chris Daughtry and says they could have used the ‘save’ to bring him back the next week. Ryan is apparently very stupid or forgetful. When Chris left the show, he was survived by Taylor, Elliot, and Katherine, which means they were a Top 4, and the new rule can only be used until they reach the Top 5. Nice job knowing your Idol history Seacrest. I bet Brian Dunkelman would have used a better example. This season the Idols are living in a posh mansion, not to be confused with Posh’s mansion. The mansion has an outdoor pool, an indoor pool, a movie theater, an indoor basketball court, and a bowling alley. I bet all the contestants can’t wait to live with Jasmine’s mother! Adam says he has always wanted to live in house like this, in fact, that’s why he is on American Idol. The bedrooms appear to be upstairs. I hope they set up one downstairs for Scott or we could have a disaster in the coming weeks. Allison is amazed there is a phone in the bathroom. Apparently she never realized you can bring a cell phone into the bathroom and it still works! See, phones in the bathroom were pretty sweet about 20 years ago Allison, now, not so much. Danny misses a shot on the basketball hoop and Lil, Alexis, and Jorge all taunt him. Megan, Allison, Kris, and Alexis all jump in the pool. I wonder if Kris’s wife will like seeing her man hanging out with all these girls. Well, maybe she won’t consider two of these girls are moms and the other one is under age. The bathtub seats more people than a Ford Explorer and Alexis thinks the bathroom is bigger than her house. I don’t know where the contestants stayed the last few years, but this has to be an upgrade.

The group number is a medley of Jackson 5 hits. I guess they figured out how to do moving numbers with Scott still around. Lil and Alexis start things off and then Danny and Michael take over. Allison, Jasmine, and Megan are the next ensemble. Jorge helps Scott move into the next position. The next time they move Alexis is tasked with helping Scott. Scott is doing a great job of overcoming his handicap and looks as fluid as anyone else on the stage. Scott even turns around and follows the camera as it moves behind the line of contestants. I’m fascinated with his movements during this group number. Danny gets a dance solo (please give Scott a dance solo too). I bet they added this last minute after the judges talked about his dancing. When the Idols move forward Alexis is still in charge of Scott. Whoever choreographed this number deserves a gold star. I’m sure they would prefer having 13 contestants with perfect eyesight, but they did what a lot of people thought they could not; they incorporated a blind man into a song and dance number.

Ryan is teasing the judges’ save as if they are going to waste it tonight. Unless Adam or Danny end up in the bottom two there is zero chance of the ‘save’ being used. Everyone fares well in the recaps until they get to the Wild Cards, specifically Megan, Jasmine, and Anoop. Among the Wild Cards only Matt gets a positive comment. Jorge gets the ‘wrong song’ treatment in the recap. Danny and Adam are featured as the night’s biggest stars. If the recaps are an accurate predictor we should see Megan, Jasmine, Anoop, and Jorge face elimination before the night ends. Michael tells Ryan making the Ford video was pretty cool. If Ford ever took billions in bail out money from the Federal Government I wonder if they would feel pressured to stop sponsoring Idol. Instead of driving around in Ford vehicles, the images of the 13 contestants were placed on buildings throughout a fake city. Adam got the pimp spot in the video since his image was the only one to appear on the Ford driving through the fake city. After the Ford video is over the contestants are having fun laughing at each other. One lucky person could win a limited edition American Idol Ford Fusion. What makes it an American Idol limited edition? Does it come with an Ipod loaded with Sanjaya songs? Does the GPS system finish every sentence with the word ‘dog?’ Speaking of cars, every year they give the top 2 contestants a new Ford. I almost hope Scott makes it that far so we can have the awkward moment when Ryan gives the blind guy a brand new car! Ryan dims the lights, which means the eliminations are about to being.

Michael Sarver is safe. Seated in the audience, his family looks like they don’t even care. Come on people go nuts and celebrate. Michael is here because America loves him as a person, not so much as a singer. If you are enthusiastic enough you can guilt people into voting for him lest they devastate his cute little daughter. Young Allison is safe and you can hear Michael say, “You were scared” as he gives her a big hug. Ryan asks Jasmine to move to center stage. On Idol, anytime you move to the center stage you should probably have your bags packed. Ryan refers to the other Matt and tells him to stand up (does he realize that the other guy named Matt is already home so now we only have one Matt left). When he says Matt’s name, Matt jumps up and starts walking to the center stage. Ryan asks him where he is going, but Matt is oblivious to Ryan’s voice and keeps walking. Michael’s roughneck enhanced hand reaches out and grabs Matt’s arm ending his sojourn; he prevents him from leaving the safety of the Idol couch. Matt, filled with nervous tension, is embarrassed. All the contestants are laughing except for Scott who is probably wondering why everyone is so amused. What happens when Scott has to go out to the center stage? Will Ryan walk him there or will his brother come running on stage to provide assistance. Matt is safe and his family goes just crazy enough in the audience. Kris is next, but Ryan leaves him standing while he asks Megan to rise. Ryan says, “America voted and……Kris……you are safe.” He puts such a long pause between Kris and you are safe, Kris thinks he is in danger and starts to walk towards center stage. As soon as Ryan tells him he is safe he celebrates and jumps up and down. After a few seconds he realizes that means Megan is now in danger and he stops his celebration and looks worried about his fellow contestant. I think he would have been more supportive of Megan and not celebrated so much if he didn’t think for a second he was about to face elimination. These contestants are so nervous right now Ryan could tell them to do almost anything and they would follow his orders like the animated figures in the Hall of Presidents at Disney World. Either Megan or Jasmine is going home unless the judges use their ‘save.’ Megan is safe; she whispers something to Jasmine. Maybe something about how the judges could still save her from elimination, because Jasmine shows no emotion. I seriously doubt redoing the same song as the night before would affect the judges’ decision to save a contestant – if they are going to save someone they will know right away. Randy says after discussing her situation the judges decided not to save her and she is going home. Only now does the finality of the moment hit her and she starts crying. Did she really think they judges were going to use their one time only ‘save’ on the first night of eliminations? That makes Jasmine especially arrogant, stupid, or just a very nervous and hopeful 17-year-old. Ryan says she is strong and so smart and always impressed him. Kanye performs, but we don’t see the judges or the contestants, which means this performance probably is not live. Amazingly, after only one commercial break, all of Kanye’s equipment is off the stage and the couch is back filled with the contestants. Why can’t Ryan just say hey here is a tape of Kanye when he performed here a few days ago instead of pretending he was there live tonight? Scott is safe after the nation wide vote. Alexis stands up and her head is barely higher than Scott’s head and he is sitting down. She is safe too. Danny is safe, but he already knew that, unless he is really dense. Anoop is next. Will they mess with him again tonight? Yes, he is sent to center stage. Adam is safe, leaving only Jorge and Lil Rounds. Jorge get ready to walk over to Anoop. If it’s Lil next to Anoop we’ll have our first big surprise in week one. Nope, it’s Jorge in danger – Lil is safe. Ryan starts to tell them the results and then does his patented after the break instead. Anoop showed no emotion, but Jorge was a little surprised. See Jorge, there are still about 15 minutes left in the show, and they don’t do the final results until the last few minutes, so buy a watch and pay attention next week – if you are still around.

Ryan says every week they will bring back an Idol. Does that include Simon’s mortal enemy Taylor Hicks? Kelly is actually there in person tonight. She is a little bigger than the last time she graced the stage, but she isn’t with child, she is with cake and pizza. Even with the extra weight she looks like an emaciated African child compared to the ever-expanding Jessica Simpson. I wonder if Tony Romo ever laments the fact he used to date a girl that is not only a successful country music star, but is still in great shape. Kelly is goofy and silly while talking with Ryan and then sings her latest single. Thankfully she returned to the fun music that sold millions of records and left behind the depressing songs comprising her previous album. The contestants are clapping along to the music, but Jorge looks really sad and is not clapping. All four judges give her a standing ovation.

The moment of truth has arrived and the 34 million voters decided that Anoop is safe. Jorge is now at the mercy of the judges. He gets one last chance to prove he belongs while he sings the same song they didn’t like the night before. Unlike Jasmine, I think Jorge knows there is no chance the judges waste their ‘save’ on him. He better learn how to say goodbye really quickly because his 15 minutes of fame are just about over. He should get the name of the Latin shopping center where Allison sings, because that might be the best gig he can get in a few months. While he sings Randy and Simon talk while the female judges listen to the song. When he is done performing Ryan asks Simon if they decided to use their ‘save’ and Simon answers ‘NO’ with an almost cruel shortness. He adds a halfhearted ‘sorry’ and then takes a sip from the Coca Cola cup. Jorge overachieved by making the Top 13 and he should go home happy with his journey. The show ends with him surrounded by the remaining contestants. I was nervous when they said there would be a change to the show’s format. Rumors persisted Simon wanted to have a sing off at the end of every show with the judges being the final arbiters over who goes and stays. Thankfully those rumors proved as factual as Bernie Madoff’s bookkeeping. I have no problem with the judges giving someone another chance. If nothing else it gives American another opportunity to hear someone sing and that usually isn’t a bad thing. Unless they use the veto to save someone I detest, but the requirement of unanimity should prevent the saving of any less than stellar singers.


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